Blurred Heart

By Prerna Kad

I crave love,

but how do you beg for rain

when you’re not sure the clouds are real,

or if they’re only painted shadows

in someone else’s sky,

like Monet’s lilies…

close enough to dream of,

too far to touch.

I wonder…

is it love,

or just a mirage

shimmering in the desert of my mind,

something beautiful

only because I am thirsty?

Do I deserve it,

when I’ve never truly held it

only pressed it away with trembling hands,

turning warm faces into shadows,

blurring their edges

until even their names

slipped quietly into the dark?

How can I ask for someone’s heart

when mine is a locked garden,

its key lost to the river Lethe,

where even roses

forget their own names?

And maybe…

the cruelest truth is this,

I don’t know if I fear

never being loved,

or if I’m terrified of the day

someone finally will…

when I’ll stand

bare as the first morning,

no shadows left to hide in,

only my trembling hands

to keep me whole.

By Prerna Kad